


Poison

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: McHanzo [23]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Missions Gone Wrong, Near Death, Poison, Promises, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-17 05:39:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16510379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: A mission gone awry leaves Hanzo fighting for his life, and McCree in limbo, waiting for him to come back - wanting to take revenge, and realising just how much Hanzo has come to mean to him.





	Poison

    Hanzo didn’t argue as McCree guided him onto the small cargo plane waiting to take them home, he didn’t even offer a protest when his partner helped him into one of the seats. However, he did draw a line at the frantic hands ghosting over his body, reaching out to grip them, gentler than intended when he realised that McCree was trembling. Not enough to be noticeable unless you were actually holding him, but enough to draw his attention. It softened his response a little, expression settling into a reassuring half-smile rather than the scowl he had been planning, although his voice was still stern as he met McCree’s worried gaze.

“Stop fussing over me.” He squeezed McCree’s hands, one soft and warm, the other cooler to the touch and harder, pressing a kiss to both to help soften his words, before lifting his head once more and meeting tawny eyes. “I’m fine.” He was covered in the grime of battle, they both were, their clothes tattered and torn from close calls and he had a large rip down the side of his gi from where he had tumbled from the rooftop in his efforts to escape Widowmaker who seemed to have decided to target him above the others today. Unsurprising perhaps after he had foiled her last assassination with a well-placed arrow, but infuriating, as it was hard to provide cover for the others with her breathing down his neck. He knew that if he was being completely honest with himself, that he nearly hadn’t been fine. If he had been just a hair slower then both he and Tracer could well have been in desperate need of Angela’s expertise or worse, as it was, they were a little bruised but otherwise fine and that was all that mattered.

“You scared me.” _Or maybe not_. It had been a long time since he had heard that tone from McCree, the last time having been months ago, when the remnants of the Shimada clan had tried to rise up and come after him to persuade him to return, or to remove him permanently if he refused. They’d failed completely at the former, but through sheer numbers had come very close to killing him, something that he still owed both McCree and Genji for stopping and his expression softened.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured as he looked up at McCree, touched by the concern that he could see in the tawny eyes that were watching his every movement, leaning up to give him a tiny, chaste kiss in apology for scaring him. “I couldn’t let her make that shot,” he pointed out when he pulled back. Widowmaker had taken advantage of the fact that his defences were spread thin to try and finish her ongoing fight with Tracer, and he swallowed, remembering the panic that had welled up when he had realised that she was no longer firing at him. He hadn’t been thinking about the danger when he’d responded, hadn’t even stopped to contemplate what Jesse would do if something happened to him, all he had been able to focus on was getting there in time. As it was he had made it…barely…a shiver working through him as he remembered how the world had disappeared in a purple cloud when he’d slammed into Widowmaker, he’d succeeded in knocking her shot off course, but he’d faltered, waiting for the poison’s effects to hit him as he’d landed just in time to see Tracer darting to safety.

“I know.” McCree sighed, more defeated than angry. “But I’d rather you hadn’t risked yourself to stop her,” he chided, moving his hand to ghost over the large rip in his gi and the tender, bruised skin that lay beneath, following thickly before adding anxiously. “The poison...?”

“I’m fine,” Hanzo repeated, cutting him off and glancing across at the others who were joining them now that the risk of a fight breaking out between the two of them seemed to have passed, and he quickly focused on Lena who had just stepped on board, lifting his voice slightly to catch her attention. “Tracer said that it affected her straight away when she got caught with it in London, and it’s been nearly an hour and I’m fine.” Lena blinked, startled at being dragged into the conversation, before understanding dawned and she moved across to join them, examining Hanzo for a moment before shrugging and turning her gaze to McCree.

“He’s right,” she admitted, unable to stop herself from rubbing at her chest and the base of her neck as she remembered the sensation of being unable to breath, of pain shooting through her body before she’d managed to activate the chronal accelerator and she had to suppress a shudder before adding softly. “She must be slipping.”

“You don’t sound very convinced,” McCree pointed out, catching the uncertainty in her tone and the way she had shifted uneasily from foot to foot whilst speaking. She winced, shooting Hanzo an apologetic glance before admitting quietly.

“I’m not.” If anything, Widowmaker had been in better form today that she had for their last few encounters, and yet the facts spoke for themselves. They were all heading home, some a little worse for wear and whatever had been in the device that she had used on Hanzo had apparently been harmless or ineffective, as she couldn’t imagine the older woman going soft on them. Shaking her head, she tilted her head towards Hanzo, her smile warm and honest. “But Hanzo is fine, so you should just focus on that.”

“But…”

“I’m fine and we’re going home, so leave it at that,” Hanzo cut McCree off, leaning in to give him another quick, close-mouth kiss, the most he would allow them when they surrounded by their teammates before pulling back and smirking when he realised that McCree had melted at the gesture. Lena grinned at them before heading for the cockpit with Lucio on her tail, the latter flashing them a wink as he passed, and McCree groaned before lightly Hanzo in the shoulder and dropping into the seat next to him, leaning against the archer with a defeated expression, not helped by Hana settling into the seat across from them and smirking at him.

**

   Lena’s voice had just come over the radio, startling McCree out of the light doze that he’d slipped into a short while, grumbling at the interruption, although her chipper announcement that they would be reaching Gibraltar in the next hour put a smile on his face. He was more than ready to get home, to have some food that didn’t come from survival packs, have a warm shower and curl up with Hanzo in their own bed. Preferably for a couple of days or longer if possible, especially as the pair of them had been sent on the last four missions without a break, going from one location to another, with barely a moment to breathe between. Scowling at that thought he turned towards his partner, intending to suggest that they used some of the leave they’d accrued to make sure they got a break, only to still when he realised that Hanzo had barely stirred at the noise, leaning against him, head bowed so that McCree couldn’t get a good look at his face.

“Hanzo?” It wasn’t like Hanzo to relax to this extent before they’d got back to base, the archer had always argued that the mission wasn’t over until they were home, often going so far as to scold McCree for being the opposite, the gunslinger always relaxing the moment he knew they were safely on their way. There was no response and his concern rose and he leant down to try and get a better look at his partner’s expression, nudging him cautiously, half expecting to end up with a sharp elbow in his side which would be the normal reaction. Instead it was another minute before Hanzo finally shifted, a soft noise that was far too close for a whimper for McCree’s liking escaping as he slowly lifted his head, the movement seeming to take far too much effort.

“Jesse?” Hanzo was clearly trying to focus on him, but it seemed as though his body didn’t want to obey his commands and McCree felt his earlier terror returning, only this time it was ten times stronger, especially when what little colour remained in Hanzo’s face seemed to disappear in front of his eyes. Hanzo clutched weakly at his arm, blinking heavily and frowning as he tried to get the words out, tried to explain what was happening. “Jesse…I don’t feel…” His voice faltered and with it his strength, leaving him unable to do anything as he pitched forwards and it was only McCree’s quick reflexes that stopped him from hitting the floor face first.

“Hanzo!” His voice cracked as panic welled up, trembling as he carefully lowered Hanzo to the ground, moving with him so that he could cradle his partner’s head in his lap. “Hanzo!” A low groan reassured him that Hanzo wasn’t completely unconscious yet, but he seemed unwilling or unable to coax his eyes open again, although his hand slowly rose, and McCree reached out to grasp it. “I’m here.”

   Sudden movement had him tensing, leaning protectively over Hanzo, only to relax as Lucio appeared in his line of sight, crouching down beside them. The soft chimes of his healing music already washing over them as he reached for Hanzo. However, there was no trace of his usual confident grin and McCree felt the brief spark of hope that had risen at the sight of the audio medic fading, Lucio was a talented healer, but poison, especially one like this that had taken a while to take its hold lay outside his expertise.

“Call ahead and warn Angela!” Lucio ordered, lifting his head to glance at Hana who had been watching the unfolding scene with wide eyes. The order snapping her back into the present and she nodded sharply, heading through to join Lena in the cockpit to make the call and to no doubt relay what was happening to Lena. Lucio turned his attention back to Hanzo, reaching up and gently tapping the archer on the cheeks, trying to rouse him and earning another groan before Hanzo slowly, reluctantly obeyed, although he still only managed to inch them open a crack. “That’s it Hanzo, you need to stay with us,” Lucio encouraged, but it was clear that Hanzo was already flagging again and the healer glanced at McCree. “You have to talk to him.”

“About what?”

    Normally he was good with handling a crisis, even one that involved those closest to him. Hell, the number of tight spots he, and they, had wound up in over the years had made it a necessity, but right now he couldn’t think, couldn’t focus. He felt helpless…he was helpless…Hanzo had been fine, he had let himself believe that despite his doubts and now this had happened, and he wasn’t a healer, he couldn’t make this better for him. Talk to him? He couldn’t think about anything to say apart from apologies and pleas and he had a feeling that wouldn’t help either of them right now, and all he could do was stare helplessly at Lucio who shot him an incredulous glance.

“Anything!” Lucio replied sharply, turning to fiddle with his speakers as he continued. “He needs to stay awake and calm, and he will listen to you. He needs to hear your voice!”

 _He needs me._ Hearing someone else say that helped and he took a deep breath, gently pulling Hanzo as close as he could, tightening his hold on his partner’s hand, whilst moving his other hand to play with the dark hair that had spilled from its usual tie.

“Hanzo,” McCree’s voice caught in his throat as Hanzo shifted, turning unfocused eyes towards him, and seeing the hint of fear in the dark eyes he forced a smile onto his lips. “Hey, Sweetheart.” Normally using an endearment like that in front of the others would have earned him a scolding, today Hanzo’s forehead creased for a moment, but he didn’t seem to react in any other way. After a moment, his gaze wandered, his eyes threatening to close once more, and McCree jerked forward in alarm. “Come on keep those pretty eyes of yours on me, no sleeping allowed until you’ve seen the Doc okay?” He made no effort to hide his alarm, his fear, hating to use it against Hanzo, but knowing that he would respond to it, and sure enough Hanzo sighed and gave a tiny nod.

“’Kay…” It was weak, barely a breath of noise, nearly lost in the soft chime of Lucio’s music but McCree caught it all the same. He leant in, feeling Hanzo’s fingers tensing against his, the hold far too weak. “J-Jesse?”

“Yeah?”

“Hurts…”

   McCree’s expression crumpled for a moment at the soft admission, knowing that Hanzo tended to play down his injuries and pain level, which meant that if he was admitting it so easily now he must be in agony. Looking up he exchanged a pained glance with Lucio who was still adjusting his music, trying to find the track that would offer Hanzo the most comfort until they could get him back to Angela.

“I know,” he murmured, voice ragged as his hand left Hanzo’s hair, stroking his cheek with gentle fingers and trying not to recoil at the heat that he could feel starting to burn under his partner’s skin. “I know.” _And there’s nothing I can do and I hate it._ He didn’t say that aloud, realizing that it wasn’t going to help anyone and that right now he needed to be calm for Hanzo’s sake, and he waited for a moment before continuing, trying to keep his voice as level as possible. “It’s going to be okay, we’re nearly home and then Angela will have you fixed up before you know it.” He couldn’t… wouldn’t…entertain any other outcome and he waited for Hanzo’s agreement, knowing that his partner respected the healer far more than he let on half the time, but instead Hanzo was silent and he jolted in alarm when he realised that Hanzo’s eyes had closed again. “Hanzo? Hanzo!”

“Still…here. Talk?” The broken request was so unlike his partner that he faltered for a moment. _Hanzo_. He wasn’t strong enough for this, but he had to be. He had to be strong for Hanzo’s sake and so he forced himself to take a deep breath, focusing on the feel of Hanzo’s weak grip on his hand that told him the archer was still with him. _He’s still here_. That reassurance was enough to get him started, his voice soft and unsteady, but slowly becoming more even as he talked to Hanzo about his thoughts about them taking a holiday, maybe even a proper one…going somewhere neither of them had been before, a place where no one had heard of Blackwatch or the Shimada Clan…he reminded Hanzo that they still needed to have a rematch on the practice range, and that he was determined to find a whiskey that would make Hanzo abandon Sake for good.

    Throughout it all Hanzo was silent and mainly still, only the occasional tightening of his fingers reassuring McCree that he was still there and still listening to him, doing little to ease the fear building in the pit of his stomach as he felt the heat rising in Hanzo’s skin and the raggedness of his breath.

_Hanzo, don’t you dare do this to me. Please…_

**

   Hanzo had managed to hold out until they were making their final approach to the base, his grip on McCree’s fingers failing completely as he went limp, sending McCree spiralling into panic, his voice cracking and desperate as he tried to rouse him. It didn’t help that Hana had assured them that Angela was waiting for them and that she had already gone through what records they had on Widowmaker’s poisons, because that help was still minutes away and they had no idea if she had used the same stuff this time. Hanzo didn’t stir, even when Lucio switched the music, trying to give him a burst of adrenaline to rouse him and all McCree could do was gather his partner close, bracing him against the shuddering of the plane as Lena took them in, pressing his lips to Hanzo’s temple and pleading with him to hold on.

   The plane had barely come to a standstill before Lucio and Hana were up and moving, opening the doors to let Angela hurry on board and at that moment McCree didn’t think he had ever seen a more welcome sight as she rushed towards him. There was a determined expression on her face, a medical kit clenched in her hands and it was nearly enough to put him at ease…nearly… but when she spared him a brief glance as she crouched down beside Hanzo, he couldn’t stop the words from slipping out, pleading and desperate.

“Please, help him.”

****

   McCree had no idea how long they’d been in the infirmary, every minute bleeding into the other as time passed and Hanzo’s condition slowly worsened. He was still wearing his battle-stained clothing, having refused to leave his partner’s side for even a moment until he knew that Angela could fix this, until someone could tell him that Hanzo was going to survive this. Desperately trying to ignore the small voice in the back of his mind that kept trying to point out that it was taking too long, that Hanzo was losing ground too quickly. _I can’t lose him_. For now, the ferocity of that thought was enough to keep the voice at bay…for now…glancing at his partner his expression tightened. Hanzo was paler that he’d been on the plane, making the flush of fever stand out more vividly, his expression twisted with distress as trembled, the fever working its way through his body. He hadn’t stirred properly since they’d landed, giving them nothing more than the odd sound whenever he drifted a little closer to consciousness, groans and whimpers that slipped free as the poison worked its way deeper.

“Hanzo,” he murmured, leaning closer, his hand tightening around Hanzo’s as he willed the other man to realise that he was there, to hear his voice. “Shh, I’m here. I’m here.” _I’m here_ , what a pointless reassurance he couldn’t help but think as Hanzo shifted again, a low whimper slipping free. He was right there, just as he had been on the plane and he still couldn’t do anything but sit there and hold on, saying words that were probably falling on deaf ears. “Angela’s working on an antidote right now, so just hold on.” _Please…_

   He couldn’t help but glance across at Angela’s office, watching through the window as she and Lucio worked, the younger medic having insisted on helping after his inability to do more than soothe Hanzo on the plane. It had been at least an hour since they’d retreated in there, the data they had on Widowmaker’s poisons not matching whatever Hanzo’s bloodwork was showing… they’d tried to explain but the words had gone over his head. He didn’t want to know the details, he just wanted them fix it. However, his stomach was twisting itself into knots, doubt seeping in as he watched Angela running a hand through her hair and shaking her head as she said something to Lucio and Athena. It was a sign of just how stressed and worried she was, he had seen her do it too many times to mistake the gesture and he had to look away, unable to watch, terrified that her doubt would feed his own.

   Instead he refocused on Hanzo, only this time he allowed himself to feel the anger that was burning beneath all the fear and doubt, his expression bleak as he gripped Hanzo’s hand tightly, watching as Hanzo’s face twitched with fresh distress as a soft whimper worked its way free. Widowmaker had done this, she had deliberately targeted Hanzo, and he knew that even if… when Hanzo pulled through this, there was no way he was going to be able to let that go. He didn’t care how long it took, but he silently promised himself and Hanzo that he would be the one to take her down.

_It’s a promise._

**

   Hours passed. Angela had moved her desk so that she was closer a short while ago, and whilst she seemed completely focused on the papers and screens in front of her, he could tell from the tension in her shoulders that she was just as aware of every movement and sound from her patient. He had long since stopped asking if there was any news, or progress, unable to handle the sadness and worry in her expression when she would hesitantly shake her head or turn away without answering. He knew that she would tell him if they had even inkling of something that would work. That Lucio who was still working away in the office, his music playing softly in the background, would come bursting out if he found something. He knew it, but it didn’t help. The wait was killing him, the fear, the doubt, growing in strength with each minute that passed, with each fresh test that Angela ran on Hanzo without result, with each new machine that his partner was hooked up to and with each soft, broken noise that escaped Hanzo as he moved restlessly on the bed.

“Jesse…” If he hadn’t been so attuned to every movement and sound that Hanzo was making, he might have missed the breathy whisper. For a moment, he was frozen, unable to move, unable to breathe as Hanzo’s eyes slid open, barely even enough to be called slits, but it was more than he had done since they’d reached the base, not that McCree could take much comfort from it, because Hanzo sounded like he was falling apart at the seams. “Je…” He trailed off, arching up with a cry of pain that cut McCree to the core, made worse by the whimpers that met his touch as he gently guided Hanzo to lie back against the pillows.

“Sorry…Sorry.”

“J…” Hanzo tried again, before trailing off with another whimper, his eyes slowly drifting shut again although his face was twisted with distress as he shifted again, fingers clutching at McCree’s, the touch feather light.

“Shh, easy s-sweetheart.” McCree soothed, hoping that the familiar nickname would remind Hanzo that he was there, that he wasn’t alone, although it was somewhat ruined by the way that his voice cracked in the middle. “Easy,” he repeated unsteadily as he ran the damp cloth that Angela had passed him over Hanzo’s skin, wiping away the last remnants of grime from their earlier battle and the sweat that was beading against the overheated skin. It was fruitless task, as soon as he moved on it was replaced, but at least he felt as though he was doing something. Although it made his heart ache to hear the soft whimpers that greeted the lightest of touches, the sounds making it hard to continue, but he gritted his teeth and forced himself to continue, pausing long enough to brush his partner’s face out of his hair. “It’s okay, it’s okay.” He wasn’t sure who he was trying to reassure as Hanzo tossed and turned restlessly under his touch, fighting to escape it even as he tried to lean into the comfort being offered, and he swallowed thickly before glancing across at where Angela was hunched over her desk. “Doc, you’ve got to do something.”

    Hanzo shifted with a whimper, drawing his attention once more and his expression darkened when he realised that Hanzo had started to murmur and mumble under his breath. At first it was just unintelligible noises and McCree paled, imaging them being sounds of pain, of pleading, but still he forced himself to lean in to try and work out what he was saying. He wished that he hadn’t when Hanzo moved again, his voice rising in volume, McCree’s heart aching when he realised that Hanzo wasn’t only pleading for help, for relief from the heat and pain but that he was also pleading for forgiveness, both his and Genji’s names cropping up and his expression darkened. “Doc…”

“I need more time,” Angela snapped, sighing and muttering an apology before gesturing at the documents and vials scattered across the desk in front of her. “Whatever poison that woman gave him isn’t in any records.” She sounded more frustrated than he’d ever heard her, something he had never thought possible considering that she’d had to deal with both him and Reyes as patients back in the day and it stopped him from snapping back, but it didn’t stop him from asking the question that he really didn’t want to ask, terrified of the answer he might get.

“Does that mean….?”

“No!” Angela turned to look at him, her expression tightening as Hanzo whimpered, throwing his head to the side and calling for his brother. “I will find an antidote…he just has to hold on a little longer.” He could hear the doubt, the hesitation that she couldn’t quite hide, and his heart fell, but he couldn’t focus on that. Still he swallowed hard, struggling to calm himself enough so that Hanzo wouldn’t be able to hear the fear and doubt in his voice, if he could hear him at all.

“Do you hear that sweetheart?” He asked softly, searching for some sign that Hanzo knew he was there, that he knew he wasn’t alone and that they were fighting for him as well. However, although Hanzo shifted, his expression twisting with fresh pain, McCree had a feeling that he wasn’t aware of anything beyond what was happening in his own body at the moment. It didn’t stop him from continuing, voice soft and unsteady. “You just have to hold on a little bit longer for us, just a little bit more.”

 _Please_ …

***

   McCree jerked as he heard footsteps approaching, cursing himself for nearly dropping off at a time like this even though he hadn’t slept for two days now, blinking bleary eyes as he hastily checked on Hanzo. Torn between relief and disappointment that nothing had changed whilst he had been distracted, before turning towards the noise, eyes widening at the sight of Angela. She looked exhausted, dark shadows under her eyes and hair messily tied back rather than in its usual neat up-do, but all McCree could focus on was the purpose in her walk and more importantly the small case in her hands. She had disappeared a while ago with Lucio in tow, muttering something about Tracer and a bunch of medical terms that he hadn’t understood, but when she hadn’t returned he’d thought that it was another idea that hadn’t panned out but now she was standing at the end of the bed, offering him a weary smile, her first in hours and he felt his first spark of hope for hours.

“Is that?” His voice cracked, hoarse after hours of speaking to Hanzo, desperation hanging from every word and he nearly crumpled against Hanzo when she gave a tiny nod. He didn’t need anything more than that, rising to his feet, ready to help in any way he could…needing to help, a pleading look in his eyes as he waited for her orders.

“Hold him still,” Angela ordered quietly, and McCree nodded, brushing his fingers lightly against a pale cheek before moving to hold Hanzo down, hating the whimper the increased contact drew from his partner. The slightest touch had clearly been hurting him from the start, and McCree hated to think about how much pain he must be causing pressing down like this, but he didn’t loosen his grip. He couldn’t, not now that there was a spark of hope within reach. With intense eyes, he watched Angela lean in, tensing when she tapped his partner lightly on the cheek in an attempt to elicit a response from him. “Hanzo? Hanzo can you hear me?” Part of McCree was relieved when there was no response, hoping that meant that the pain wasn’t fully registering, whilst the rest of him ached to see those dark eyes open and alert again. Angela sighed, before continuing, speaking as though Hanzo could hear her. “I’m going to give you an injection okay? It might hurt a little, but it’s going to help so please bear with it.”

   Hanzo tensed and flinched when she administered the injection, tossing his head restlessly to the side although he didn’t stir. Still McCree was quick to soothe him, relieved to have an excuse to release his hold on him, fingers moving to comb through sweat-matted hair as he murmured soft reassurances, waiting for Hanzo to settle a little before glancing up Angela.

“You’re sure that this will work?” McCree demanded, needing to hear it for her, even though he knew better than to doubt her abilities. Although his confidence took a blow when he caught the way she faltered at his question, the way that she wouldn’t quite meet his gaze and he swallowed thickly before forcing himself to ask. “Angela?” _Please, tell me that he’s going to be okay._

“I’m confident that it’s the right antidote.”

“But?”

“It’s still going to be a difficult fight,” Angela warned him softly, finally meeting his gaze with a grim expression. “Am…Widowmaker is skilled with her poisons and she knows how to make her targets suffer.” He caught the slip with the name, knew it was something that haunted many of them when they faced the sniper…the fact that she had been one of their own…and so he let it pass, even though his expression darkened as he thought back to the promise he had made. She might have been one of them once, it might not have been her fault that she’d fallen, but she had hurt Hanzo and in his eyes that was unforgivable, no matter what anyone else said. “And the poison has a head start…” His attention snapped back to her when he realised she was still speaking, fear clawing at him, because he knew that she was right. Knew that Hanzo was already exhausted from fighting the poison on his own, but slowly he gathered himself and shook his head, his grip on Hanzo’s hand tightening.

“Hanzo’s strong,” he stated confidently…strong in body, strong in mind…if anyone could beat this it was Hanzo, he was sure of it and he lifted his head, meeting Angela’s gaze as he added strongly. “He can come back from this.” _He has to…_

“I hope you’re right.”

“I am.”

_Do you hear me Hanzo? You have to fight this!_

****

   McCree had never been good at waiting, especially not like this, unable to do anything but wait and hope and pray. Wait to see if Angela’s antidote would work, waiting to see if Hanzo could come back to this… waiting to see if his world was going to fall apart. It was stupid. After what had happened with Blackwatch, with Zurich, he had thought that he was better off on his own and even when he had answered the recall, unable to turn his back on his friends, he had been determined to keep a certain distance…to stop something like that happening again. A single explosion had changed everything back then, and now a single poisoned trap was threatening to do the same now. Only this time, his hand tightened around Hanzo’s, vision blurring slightly as he focused on Hanzo’s face, studying the pale features…this time he wasn’t sure that he would survive the loss.

   This man. This stubborn man who had fought against McCree and the feelings between them for so long because of guilt and a misplaced belief that he couldn’t be happy, who had spent the first months of their relationship constantly facilitating between fears and doubts and who still had moments when he tried to push McCree away, for his own good of course…had somehow managed to wiggle his way right into the centre of his world. _Hanzo, you’ve got to come back._

“Jesse?” He jolted violently at the quiet voice, staring hopefully at Hanzo for a moment before slowly turning his head to find Angela peering around the door and at once his expression tightened, the fear that wouldn’t subside until Hanzo’s eyes were open rising once more. She must’ve seen it in his expression because she hastily reassured him even as she slipped into the room. “It’s okay I just need to check on him.” He nodded, not that she really needed permission, watching eagle-eyed as she moved to the bed, checking the monitors and writing notes on her tablet before setting it aside and leaning over Hanzo. However, even as checked his pulse, still preferring the old-fashioned way despite the technology at her fingertips she glanced across at McCree, forehead creasing in concern as she studied him and he braced himself for another lecture on needing to eat and sleep. “How are you doing?”

   He blinked, thrown off by the lack of lecture before sighing as he shrugged. _How was he doing?_ It felt as though he was stuck in limbo, unable to really work out how he felt or how he was doing until Hanzo stirred or… he swallowed thickly, everything was tied to Hanzo and slowly he tilted his head towards his partner.

“I need him to wake up.”

“I know,” Angela murmured, smiling sadly. She had been one of the first to spot the relationship blossoming between the pair, but even she had never thought it would become this close, this strong and she couldn’t help but worry about what would happen to McCree if Hanzo didn’t pull through. The thought of losing either of them, of losing more people to this war left a bitter taste in her mouth, eyes darkening as she turned back to her patient. _Hanzo, he needs you_. Still, he was improving. It was slow, slower than she liked, but it was there, and she could at least offer McCree that much comfort. “But he is doing better, Jesse.”

“Really?”

“Really.” Normally she would have been offended at the doubt in his tone and called him out on it, but this wasn’t a normal situation and so she let it slide, gently setting Hanzo’s hand back down on the covers before straightening. “Which means that you need to take care of yourself.” She held up a hand when he immediately opened his mouth to protest, already knowing that it would probably take Reinhardt to haul him away from Hanzo’s side at the moment and even then, it would be a fight. “I’m not asking you to leave. I’m going to go and get you some food, which you’re going to eat and then you can use the shower in my office.”

“But…”

“I’ll stay with him whilst you’re in there.”

“I…” McCree hesitated, not liking the thought of trusting Hanzo’s safety to anyone else at the moment, even though he knew that Angela would never let anything happen to him under her watch. However, as he glanced at Hanzo he felt his shoulders beginning to slump, realising that even if didn’t care about taking care of himself right now, his partner would never forgive him for not doing so and so with a sigh he looked back at Angela and gave a tight nod.

“I’ll be right back.” Angela didn’t make a fuss about his agreement for which he was grateful, barely paying attention as she slipped away, instead scooting his chair closer and lifting Hanzo’s hand so that he could kiss the back of it.

“Hey,” he murmured, voice thick as he kissed each knuckle in turn, something that always made Hanzo blush when he was awake to witness it. “Do you hear that? I’m going to take care of myself, s-so that means you have to hold up your side of this…you have to come back.”

**

   He would be lying if he said that he was disappointed when he came back from the shower to find that there had been no real change, not that he had really expected there to be, but still… Angela was sat by his partner’s side, gently wiping a cloth over Hanzo’s forehead and singing softly under her breath, the words were in her native tongue but there was something oddly familiar about them as McCree stepped, not daring to make a noise as his partner finally seemed to be settling a little.

“Feeling better?” Angela was the one to break the silence a couple of minute later, continuing to run the cloth over Hanzo’s overheated skin, but glancing up at him. Reluctantly he nodded, having to admit that it did feel better after the shower, finally removing the last traces of their last mission. Moving around the bed he reclaimed his seat, reaching out to grasp Hanzo’s once more, feeling better to have the physical contact, as though that tiny touch was enough to keep Hanzo tethered, squeezing the slim fingers for a moment before focusing on Angela once more.

“That song…” He hesitated for a moment, still trying to place where he could have heard it before, a vague impression of her sitting over him just as she was with Hanzo flashing through his mind. “You sang it to me, didn’t you?” He asked quietly, hesitating for a moment before holding up his mechanical hand and wiggling his fingers. “Back when this happened?”

“You remember?” Angela looked surprised and distressed by the thought and he couldn’t blame her, it wasn’t a pleasant memory for him either and he felt a phantom twinge in the limb as he lowered it, hastily shaking his head to reassure her.

“Not clearly,” he admitted, before offering her a weak grin. “But it was familiar.”

“My mother always sang to me when I was ill,” Angela murmured. “She sang it to me the night our house was destroyed by the Omnics. We were trapped, and I knew she was dying, but still she sang to me until her voice gave out, and it helped to keep the fear at bay.”

“I’m sorry,” McCree shifted uncomfortably, they had all lost a lot, but it always made him uncomfortable when it came to family. It was something he had forgotten, the years in Deadlock and then Blackwatch had cauterised that loss, and whilst he had always considered the friends he’d made to be family, he had always known it was different. But now…his gaze darted to Hanzo, his stomach twisting unpleasantly even as a faint smile tugged at his lips. Now, after all these years he knew what it meant to have a family of his own, and the terror at the thought of it slipping through his fingers, tightening his grip on his partner’s hand as though it was enough to stop it from happening.

“It was a long time ago,” Angela smiled at him, still sad, but peaceful as she studied him for a moment, a knowing expression on her face as she glanced at where his hand was linked with Hanzo’s. “His fever has dropped a little.” It took a moment for her words to register, the good news as small as it was so foreign after the last day that all he could do was stare at her wide-eyed for a moment.

“You’re sure?”

“Of course.” Again, there was no hint of offence at her abilities questioned, just quiet understanding and he knew that he would have to thank her for that...later…when his thoughts weren’t consumed with Hanzo and the possibility of losing him. “Why are you so surprised? You’re the one who told me that he was a fighter.”

“I did…”

“He’s not out of the woods yet, but he is fighting Jesse,” she slowly held out the cloth she was using, arching an eyebrow at him until he finally reached out and took it, her fingers grasping his for a moment as she added firmly. “Don’t give up on him now.”

“Never.”

****

   It was another few hours before McCree could see a definite improvement in Hanzo’s condition, the flush of the fever slowly fading from his face, McCree’s relentless efforts at wiping the sweat from his forehead no longer a fruitless effort. The restless movements slowly settling, until Hanzo seemed to just be sleeping. Although McCree wasn’t sure that he preferred the new stillness even if he knew it was a good sign, his gaze constantly lingering on the rise and fall of Hanzo’s chest, reassuring himself that Hanzo was still with him even as the machines around him continued to beep steadily. However, the biggest relief was the cessation of whimpering and beginning, the pleading words…for forgiveness, for help, for him…echoing through his mind even as he sat there, voice ragged as he continued to reassure his partner that he was there, determined not to stop until Hanzo was awake to realise that he was there.

“You just have to come back,” he murmured, pleading, even though he knew that Hanzo seemed to be moving in the right direction.

_Please come back…_

****

    Hanzo always was stubborn and whilst his condition continued to improve much to McCree’s relief, he still showed no sign of stirring. Not even Genji who had rushed the last of his mission to come back had been able to elicit a response from his brother, although it meant that there was one more person that McCree could trust to watch over his partner when he finally gave into Angela’s urging to rest before she could act on her threat to get Ana to dart him. Not that he had gone far, just the next hospital bed as the thought of returning to the quarters that he shared with Hanzo left an unpleasant taste in his mouth. The small room and en-suite had become home, but only as long as Hanzo was there. However, the others were so relieved that he was resting that they didn’t argue with him.

   He had half expected Hanzo to rouse during one of his rare naps, it was something that his contrary partner would do and with everything finally pointing in the right direction he had even taken a friendly bet with Genji on the matter. Which was why he was surprised when his attention was drawn to the bed by a soft noise later that night, nearly knocking his chair over in his haste to lean over the bed, breath catching in his throat when Hanzo’s expression shifted, eyebrows drawing up and he couldn’t help the breathless chuckle that slipped out, as it was too similar to the expression he wore on their rare days off when he didn’t want to wake up.

“Come on Hanzo,” he called, managing to convince his voice to work, reaching out to stroke a thumb against one pale cheek as he chided softly. “You’ve kept me waiting long enough.” He wasn’t sure if it was his words, or the tone, but Hanzo shifted, eyelids twitching.

“Je…” He whispered, voice cracking from disuse, frowning as the discomfort registered and finally…finally, his eyes crept open, blinking up at him in confusion. “Wha…?”

   For a moment, all McCree could do was stare at his partner, drinking in the sight of him. It would take time for him to regain his colour and full strength, Angela had already warned him about that, but the dark eyes although weary were bright and alert as they hadn’t been since the mission, focusing on McCree, concern building at the lack of response. He had obviously waited too long because Hanzo gave a determined effort to push himself up, broken attempts at words falling from his lips, fear working its way in there when he realised he couldn’t push himself upright and it was that fear which jolted McCree into action.

“Easy,” he soothed, cursing himself for making Hanzo worry, hands gentle as he helped Hanzo sit up when he realised his partner wasn’t going to let him lie him down again. Supporting Hanzo with one arm, he hastily plumped up the pillows and pulled them up so they would support the archer, making sure that he wouldn’t topple over before reaching for the jug of water and cup they had been keeping on the bedside table for this moment. It was only as he poured water into the cup that he realised just how badly he was trembling, and he prayed that Hanzo wouldn’t notice as he held the cup up to his lips, refusing to surrender it when Hanzo tried to take it himself. “Here, tiny sips.” The fact that Hanzo didn’t put much effort into wresting the cup from him told him that there was still a way to go, and he sighed before scowling when he realised that Hanzo was trying to gulp down the water. “Tiny sips.”

   It didn’t take long for Hanzo to tire, wearily pulling away and shaking his head, uncomplaining when McCree helped settle him back against the pillows. The quiet acquiescence was almost as unnerving as the stillness had been, because Hanzo had always been fiercely independent, never liking being fussed over despite the fact that he was an even worse mother hen whenever McCree landed himself in here. However, McCree didn’t comment on it, instead settling back on the edge of the bed and taking one of Hanzo’s hands between his, needing the contact even though Hanzo was still there, still awake, staring at him and frowning.

“What happened?” McCree tensed at the question even though he had half been expecting it, after all Hanzo had been out of it most of the time and he doubted that his partner remembered much of the flight home either, but still it grated on him. It had been easier whilst he was worrying about Hanzo, focused on just keeping him alive and here with him, but now that fear was being chased with irritation as he remembered his alarm back when Hanzo had first come into contact with the poison and how it had been brushed off. Widowmaker had used a new poison, one that no one had seen before, even the military had no information on it when Athena had taken a look…they couldn’t have known and yet. Something must have shown in his expression, because Hanzo’s voice was alarmed as he nudged him. “Jesse?”

“You nearly died.” It had been close, too close. Part of him wanted to pull away, but even now he couldn’t bring himself to release his hold on Hanzo, words bubbling up now as everything that he had been trying to keep at bay to help rose to the surface. “You nearly died. That poison that you dismissed as nothing? Wasn’t nothing…You said that you were fine, you promised me that you were fine, and you weren’t…you weren’t. I nearly lost you. I could have lost you, and you told me that you were FINE!” His voice rose at the end, startling them both and he waited for Hanzo to flinch and pull away like he usually did on the rare occasions they argued, instead Hanzo stared at him for a moment, stunned as he tried to piece together his own memory and the words that had just been spat at him.

“I’m sorry.” The apology came softly, hesitantly, Hanzo struggling to hold his gaze and just like that the flash of anger vanished leaving McCree tired. He was still angry, still scared. It would take a long time for that to fade, because it had been too close this time and he had realised just how much he had to lose, but the anger no longer burned hot and he sighed, shaking his head…. he didn’t want the apology, he didn’t need it.

“Don’t…”

“Jesse?”

“Don’t apologize to me,” McCree whispered. It reminded him too much of Hanzo twisting and turning, pleading for forgiveness, sighing as he saw the confusion and wariness in the dark eyes watching him, bringing Hanzo’s hand up to kiss it. “I don’t need to hear it. It’s enough that you’re still here.” It was more than enough, especially when his words brought a hint of colour to Hanzo’s cheeks, and he chuckled softly before leaning in to steal a proper kiss. “Just don’t do it again.” It was said in a joking manner, but they both knew it was serious and Hanzo nodded slightly.

“I won’t.”

   They remained like that for a moment, the silence a comfortable one despite their previous words hanging heavy in the air, the promise settling between them. Eventually the silence was broken by Hanzo yawning widely, struggling to keep his eyes open as he looked at McCree, obviously reluctant to fall asleep again and McCree opened his mouth to chide him for fighting it when he paused. Just the thought of Hanzo sleeping again was enough to make him shiver, and he hesitated, half tempted to plead him to stay awake instead, but Hanzo needed the rest, they both did, and a small, weary grin crept onto his face as a thought occurred to him. “Move over.”

    Hanzo made a soft noise, questioning but not really protesting, eyes drooping, and it was left to McCree to gently move him across. The bed was not built for two, but he was determined to make it work, and he knew the moment that Hanzo had caught onto his idea because his partner immediately curled onto his side, leaving just enough room for McCree to slip onto the bed and press up behind him. It felt like coming home, having Hanzo pressed against him, and he dropped a kiss to the closest shoulder as he reached out to grasp Hanzo’s hand, twining their fingers together. “Thank you,” the words slipped out before he could stop them, and he felt Hanzo stiffen for a minute.

“Why?”

“For coming back.” There was so much more he wanted to say, that needed to be said, but that could wait until Hanzo was stronger. For now, those words were enough, and he felt Hanzo slowly relax back against him, a slight tremble to the fingers that tightened against his.

“Always.”


End file.
